Sam is quiet as he listens, but he nods. He'd done enough stupid shit for the people that he cared about that he can't exactly get on his own high horse and claim that he was any better. He chose to give Fragile the killing blow. He chose to go to Heartman. He chose to claim Lou, to treat her like the child she was.
Given the time, he would have run away with her, rather than ever letting her be sent to the furnace.
"Since this morning," he replies quietly, happy to continue on with the work and get away from the heavier talk. "Figure if I get this done before spring, she'll be startin' to learn how to walk, n' I'd be able to let her hang around out here without bein' carried everywhere."
When the last post is secure though, he stands and swipes his hands across the seat of his trousers before leading the way inside. Lou is sleeping in a little secondhand bassinet just close enough to the window that she can see the sky. Hanging from a flexible branch secured by red twine, a windmill turns gently over her in the breeze let in from the open door.
"You know there ain't much," he points out. He's feeling the lack of food, though maybe not as acutely as most. He reaches into his little pantry for a jar of preserves, sent off with him by one of the old women on his route.
"I'll set a few more traps--and I'll bring by some of my catch." John assures him--and forestalls any argument with a raised hand.
"Try me, and I'll just leave it on your doorstep--or donate it to the communal pot in town that Palmer guy's got goin'. If you don't eat it, I won't eat it. Period."
Lowering his hand with a small smile, he crosses over to Lou's bassinet and leans over to just watch her for a second.
"Hey, princess." he whispers, barely audible as he reaches in to gently tuck her in a little more securely in, just hitching up her blankets a little. "You have extra good dreams for me, 'kay? Wanna see lots of smiles from my favorite girl when you wake up..."
Sam swipes at the hand, coming so close to making contact.
"Donate it to the pot, man. You know those people could use it a hell of a lot more than I can. If you have too much for them in a day then I'll take the rest, but they come first, and that, you're not allowed to argue with."
Sam lingers just inside, his arms crossing as he watches John approaching where Lou is sleeping in the froggy pajamas she'd been gifted. She's warm, safe, and barely reacts to John fussing that little bit over her. There's a softness to the man that only comes out when he's around the two of them, and them alone. Everyone else seems to cause him to tense up, like he's afraid of what they might do. It's heartbreaking on a deeply personal level.
"Don't go too far out of your way though, huh? Shit's gettin' weird lately." Well, weirder than usual.
The swipe just makes John grin, as does the admonishment.
"M' already helping the Palmer kid with the soup pot." he admits softly, so as not to wake Lou. "He hit me up after one of my rounds on the snares--taught him how to clean and dress game. Still think I'm gonna do it for him before I bring another batch around."
Kid's eager and friendly...but John's still not sure about putting a knife in his hand yet without decent supervision.
"As for goin' out of my way...you're not out of my way." he goes on, looking up from Lou and at Sam--and for the first time, he doesn't try to compose himself. The swell of affection he lets himself feel shows in his eyes.
You are my way. He wants to say it, but it's too much. Especially today--so he just looks down at Lou again and watches her eyes blink open. She focuses on him, coos happily--and as she blinks her eyes closed again, makes John laugh at how readily she just goes back to sleep once she's given him a drowsy little greeting.
"Surprised he was willing to learn how. He seems more the desk job type," Sam notes with a touch of amusement. "Probably better to do it for him, yeah. Maybe teach him how to do it with fish later, 's a little less involved."
John looks back at him after Lou has made herself comfortable in her bed again, and Sam...he can see it. He sees that look, that tenderness. He realizes that it's not just meant for her. It's a strange, somewhat terrifying thought, but not, perhaps, for reasons that John will fully understand if he tries to explain.
He looks back out at the snow, falling just fast enough to start really covering the ground out there and fill in the tracks coming up the path. He'd have to see about some form of paving leading down, when this first project is done... "You goin' back out there? Or you figure you wanna hang around a while, help me finish up the fence? Goes faster with two sets of hands."
John raises an eyebrow with a grin at Sam's assessment. "Hey, yeah--s' a good idea. I'll go with that, thanks."
The question--before, it would have given John pause. Now, looking at Sam, looking freely and knowing it's okay...he really doesn't have to think about it.
"You want me, you got me. I'd prefer to stay." he assures him. "Working or no...I like being here with you guys."
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2024-01-27 01:40 pm (UTC)Given the time, he would have run away with her, rather than ever letting her be sent to the furnace.
"Since this morning," he replies quietly, happy to continue on with the work and get away from the heavier talk. "Figure if I get this done before spring, she'll be startin' to learn how to walk, n' I'd be able to let her hang around out here without bein' carried everywhere."
When the last post is secure though, he stands and swipes his hands across the seat of his trousers before leading the way inside. Lou is sleeping in a little secondhand bassinet just close enough to the window that she can see the sky. Hanging from a flexible branch secured by red twine, a windmill turns gently over her in the breeze let in from the open door.
"You know there ain't much," he points out. He's feeling the lack of food, though maybe not as acutely as most. He reaches into his little pantry for a jar of preserves, sent off with him by one of the old women on his route.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-31 09:49 pm (UTC)"Try me, and I'll just leave it on your doorstep--or donate it to the communal pot in town that Palmer guy's got goin'. If you don't eat it, I won't eat it. Period."
Lowering his hand with a small smile, he crosses over to Lou's bassinet and leans over to just watch her for a second.
"Hey, princess." he whispers, barely audible as he reaches in to gently tuck her in a little more securely in, just hitching up her blankets a little. "You have extra good dreams for me, 'kay? Wanna see lots of smiles from my favorite girl when you wake up..."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-02 03:35 am (UTC)"Donate it to the pot, man. You know those people could use it a hell of a lot more than I can. If you have too much for them in a day then I'll take the rest, but they come first, and that, you're not allowed to argue with."
Sam lingers just inside, his arms crossing as he watches John approaching where Lou is sleeping in the froggy pajamas she'd been gifted. She's warm, safe, and barely reacts to John fussing that little bit over her. There's a softness to the man that only comes out when he's around the two of them, and them alone. Everyone else seems to cause him to tense up, like he's afraid of what they might do. It's heartbreaking on a deeply personal level.
"Don't go too far out of your way though, huh? Shit's gettin' weird lately." Well, weirder than usual.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-02 06:37 pm (UTC)"M' already helping the Palmer kid with the soup pot." he admits softly, so as not to wake Lou. "He hit me up after one of my rounds on the snares--taught him how to clean and dress game. Still think I'm gonna do it for him before I bring another batch around."
Kid's eager and friendly...but John's still not sure about putting a knife in his hand yet without decent supervision.
"As for goin' out of my way...you're not out of my way." he goes on, looking up from Lou and at Sam--and for the first time, he doesn't try to compose himself. The swell of affection he lets himself feel shows in his eyes.
You are my way. He wants to say it, but it's too much. Especially today--so he just looks down at Lou again and watches her eyes blink open. She focuses on him, coos happily--and as she blinks her eyes closed again, makes John laugh at how readily she just goes back to sleep once she's given him a drowsy little greeting.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-07 02:26 pm (UTC)John looks back at him after Lou has made herself comfortable in her bed again, and Sam...he can see it. He sees that look, that tenderness. He realizes that it's not just meant for her. It's a strange, somewhat terrifying thought, but not, perhaps, for reasons that John will fully understand if he tries to explain.
He looks back out at the snow, falling just fast enough to start really covering the ground out there and fill in the tracks coming up the path. He'd have to see about some form of paving leading down, when this first project is done... "You goin' back out there? Or you figure you wanna hang around a while, help me finish up the fence? Goes faster with two sets of hands."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-07 07:54 pm (UTC)The question--before, it would have given John pause. Now, looking at Sam, looking freely and knowing it's okay...he really doesn't have to think about it.
"You want me, you got me. I'd prefer to stay." he assures him. "Working or no...I like being here with you guys."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-09 09:50 pm (UTC)